One week of relaxation and bonding with friends! What's better than THAT! I got an awesome surprise running into a friend and her pooch as we both were doing a Saturday ritual of driving thru Timmies with our dogs and getting some caffeine! It turned into a fabulous visit! I needed my "Erin and Rob" fix and what a great way to start holidays!
I am so looking forward to unwinding, reading, getting some sun, and visiting a new friend! The key word however, is RELAX! It's going to be so hard not to read the paper everyday and look on everything as a "topic"!
I had a grade 10 math teacher, Mr. Douglas, and in his class he had a sign right over the clock, presumably to alert you to the time you were wasting looking at it. It read, "Time passes. Will you?" I never forgot it! I think of it now and know that with the passage of time, things are getting better and that I'm in the place that I'm supposed to be!
I have never felt so confident in myself as I do today and actually in the choices I am making and will make in my friendships and one day in a potential partner in the future. I realize what I zoned out on. I am aware of what I do not need and what drains my energy. I hope that instinct becomes second nature and my nagging desire to see what a person COULD be rather than the person they show up as now, subsides. All of that without losing my compassion and understanding of the foibles of others because, Lord knows, I have enough faults myself!
Tall order, but it is coming... slowly but surely.
My lack of confidence in the person I am, the character and integrity, the strong person I am, the beautiful person I am, inside and out, has sabotaged me. I know that now. I need only embrace myself, just as I am, to find true happiness. It seems so simple, why is it that so many of us find it so elusive?
Not anymore. There is so much serenity in realizing you don't have to be anyone else other who you are, right now. Sure, we can all strive to be better but until you live in the moment and see yourself as the perfect snowflake that you are, can you truly be satisfied by any accomplishments you reach. Until then, nothing will ever be enough. You will always loathe what you see in the mirror.
So on this vacation, I can't wait to laugh, sleep, discover, read, and develop my friendships... make new memories!
Happiness is so close I can taste it!