The move is over. Lola and I are officially out of the matrimonial home. I felt sad when I dropped her off at the kennel the night before, because she would never be back to the only home she ever knew. But it was for the best. I picked her up after all was moved into storage and we drove out to the cottage. Friends are letting us stay out here until our apartment is ready. The only time I cried was driving back to the house alone after dropping the dog off. A good bawl and then I felt like facing the future!
It was odd the way it all went down. Soon-to-be-ex and I never saw one another. We haven't seen each other, save a few seconds, in what seems like months. I don't want to see him, no desire, no basis for any semblance of a friendship. I just can't. It's not in me. I've let up on myself for not being "nice". What he did wasn't nice either. It's a process.
I called my dad for Father's Day today and it sounds like he's having a rough time as usual. It never seems to get easy for Dad, always a struggle. It has occurred to me recently that with both my parents, who were 19 and 21 when they married, that I was always the "adult" in the relationship and they were the "children"... at least for most of my adult life. That would explain some of the choices I have made in mates, people that needed to be "looked after"... I'm still mulling all of that over... Regardless, he was happy to hear from me and it was good to talk to him.
Exercise this week has been sporadic at best. I have roughly 5 weeks to ratchet up the workouts. Running out here will be the easiest to do. Biking will too if I can get a rack and get my bike out here somehow! My membership at the gym is still good till August so I can swim before I drive back out here... but I can't leave Lola too long without a pee... it's going to have to be dedication.
When we first got out here, I had a hard time just doing nothing. I felt jittery and unable to sit. I've finally relaxed and was able to read more of my book than I have in a long time. Maybe I should just cut myself some slack for a change! Take it easy and enjoy! You only go around once and boy, have I been going around!
Happiness lurks in solitude and silence too... I can't wait to get to know her again!